Energy and Anxiety
Posted on Tue Mar 11th, 2025 @ 2:14pm by Captain Remy Johansen & Lieutenant JG Jezra Siv MD
1,169 words; about a 6 minute read
Mission:
Side Plots
Location: Sickbay
Timeline: A few weeks after shore leave
Remy walked into the medical bay and was appreciative of the nurse who quickly took her to a private room. "The doctor will be with you shortly, Captain."
The captain smiled. "Thank you, Ensign."
Not long after the nurse left, Jezra came into the main part of sickbay. The news of the Captain being in sickbay, if it wasn't inherently jarring, certainly warranted priority even if the issue wasn't that serious. "Captain, what can I do for you?" she asked, setting the PADD she was carrying on a nearby console.
"Thanks for seeing me," Remy said offering the Chief Medical Officer a tired smile. "I hope I didn't take you away from anything important. I should have an appointment, it's just a little hard with my schedule recently," the Captain said apologetically.
"Nothing too serious, I don't think. I'm just not sleeping well. And then I'm lagging during the day. It's been going on for a while and the fatigue is starting to really settle in. Some afternoons I feel like I'm slogging through a tar pit."
Jezra offered a shake of their head. After making it back onto the ship, she showed Nor around a little before showing him where he could get a little more settled. "No bother at all. Please," the Trill gestured to one of the nearby beds, an invitation to take a seat. "Anything else of note? Any changes in appetite, changes to a part of your routine, ...?" While prompting for more information, Jezra took the liberty of pulling up the Captain's file on the console to have on hand.
"Change? Not really. Nothing recent anyway," Remy replied. "I mean since becoming a CO, it's a lot of late nights and early mornings. But I did that as a first officer as well, so it's nothing new. And we just had that break on Barisa Prime, and I took some time to rest and get caught up."
The response was simply a nod as the doctor finished skimming the medical file, then grabbed a tricorder and came over. Flipping it open, they removed the scanning wand and began with Remy's head, slowly moving down. While she had an idea based off of the symptoms explained, the readings only confirmed it. "You say it's nothing new, yet your blood pressure says otherwise," Jezra said, keeping her tone light but professional. "Have you actually been feeling rejuvenated after sleeping or resting? Or is it just enough to get by?"
Remy started to open her mouth to speak and then shut it again, looking at the doctor sheepishly. "Well when I wake up, I'm ready to go. I'm not waking up tired or anything. But once the afternoon hits I start to feel it. And please don't tell me to take an afternoon nap. I'm the Captain, that isn't a viable solution. If the crew found out their Captain required an afternoon nap, I'd lose all credibility."
"Will the knowledge of an afternoon nap hurt your credibility more than improper rest affecting your judgement as Captain?" Jezra posed. They let the question hang for a few seconds, knowing their words would have at least some kind of impact. "As Sialle, Siv's fourth host, would say: the tides don't fight the moon. You're stressed, Remy." Closing the tricorder, she pocketed it to focus on the interpersonal communication. "I can give you all sorts of recommendations. We can even try something to get you into a deeper sleep at night if that interests you." Jezra raised a finger. "But. You have to keep with the recommendations for it to have an effect."
Remy almost didn't realize that the doctor had called her by her first name. Few people on board did, and they were those that had known her long before she was every eyeing the Captain's chair. She realized she appreciated it in this setting. It was exhausting to have everyone always looking toward her so deferentially.
Remy paused for a moment trying to process what tides and the moon had to do with her sleep cycle. Then decided it didn't matter in the moment. "What are the recommendations, Doctor?"
Jezra smiled and grabbed a PADD. "There are a few sleep aids I can offer... or if there's a concern about missing night calls, there are some excellent teas that provide a kick, that you can try when you start to crash. I have other ideas, but they depend on if your stress is coming from your work life or personal life."
"I'm guessing it's more work than personal," Remy offered. "This is my first command. And this particular ship wasn't even coming my way, there were circumstances. I know at least a couple of Admirals have my back, but not everyone. And the well-being of the crew. Between the politics, and the actual work..."
While the Trill had no idea what that exact feeling was like, she nodded because she knew that imposter syndrome was a common feeling amongst captains, especially new ones. "I can only imagine the kind of stress that comes with being a captain, let alone a new one. If an afternoon nap is off the table, then perhaps dedicating an hour to Ready Room time? Time where you let your staff man the bridge so you can give something your full attention, in uninterrupted space. If that time so happens to include a nap now and then, nobody's the wiser." The comment was accompanied with a wink.
Remy tilted her head slightly. "I delegate all the time. I don't know that being on the Bridge too much is really the issue, Doctor. You know, I can try the tea. Why not?"
With a nod, Jezra typed on the PADD, adding the tea to Remy's recommended list so it would go to the appropriate replicators. "I added a request to have some tea options sent to you. It's also within reason to have your first officer handle some of the administrative tasks," they offered.
Remy smiled weakly. The doctor seemed to not be getting it. It wasn't the amount of actual work. She had no problem delegating and trusted her crew. Hell, she'd even left the ship and put Spello in charge in a pretty precarious moment. It was the mental load that was new. The responsibility of all the families on board. Being the final stop for all decisions. She thought she'd wanted it, to incite change for the better, but the burden was heavier than she imagined. One that kept her up at night.
Instead of trying to explain she just nodded. "Thanks. I'll try the teas. I appreciate your time, Doctor."
Captain Remira Johansen
Commanding Officer
USS Astrea
Lieutenant J.G. Jezra Siv
Chief Medical Officer
USS Astrea
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