After Parties...

Posted on Tue Feb 27th, 2024 @ 1:39pm by Lieutenant JG Malcolm Beckett M.D.

2,086 words; about a 10 minute read

Mission: Side Plots
Location: Lorut's Quarters
Timeline: MD-02

Vila lay there with Malcolm, recovering from their evening's activities, and in that twilight area between wake and sleep. Sleep was a weird concept for the Bajoran-on the nights she was lucky enough to get much, it was often punctuated with vivid dreams, most of them flashbacks. The rest of time, her sleep was more like short naps with hours of wakefulness, where she'd lie in bed and ruminate, or, sometimes, get up and pace her quarters until it was time to go to work. She had a difficult time with idleness and stillness, and an even more difficult time being alone with herself. "Are you asleep?" she asked quietly. If not, maybe some tea would help. Sometimes it did.

Malcolm stirred, rubbing her arm with his hand. "Not yet," he said softly, his words relaxed like the rest of his body. "Everything okay?" He asked.

"Yeah. You want some tea?I just...sometimes I don't sleep and it helps," she said. She slipped out of the bed, quietly. "It's just...the quietness makes me remember things I'd really rather forget," she said. She didn't want to make it a THING or his burden, too, but he would've figured it out soon if their nights continued on like this, so she might as well get it out of the way now. "Flashbacks and nightmares. Usually about the Occupation, but not always," she said. She was standing in front of the replicator with not much on except his t-shirt. *Two Jumja teas, hot.* A minute later, she returned to climb into the bed again.

Malcolm had sat up in bed by this point and took the tea from her. It really didn't taste much like tea, it reminded him of mulled cider almost. "How often do these memories and flashbacks keep you up at night?" He asked.

Vila sighed. "Maybe four or five times a week," she said. "I am in regular counseling. It DOES help, but...not totally." She said. "Most of it is just...flashbacks," she said. "Like I said. SO. If I keep you up, tell me, and I can go sit in the other room," she said. "There's no reason YOU should suffer," she said. She sipped the tea, and smiled. "Anyway. I thought you should know, in case whatever this is continues..."

Malcolm smiled and stroked her hair. "I hope this does continue," he said, making sure to catch her eyes as he spoke. "I support counseling - I do. But, I've also heard that with real trauma like what you've been through it's not usually enough. You go, you talk. And maybe getting it off your chest or having someone to talk about it with is better than goin' at it alone. But you can still get quite stuck, even with counseling."

She smiled. "Me, too," she said, looking back at him. "But you're right. I am stuck. It was MUCH worse before I started counseling, but it's not....great anymore. The last counselor suggested medication, but I had to ship out before we could begin," she said. "And I am not opposed at all to it, just...there hasn't been time. Even on Jupiter Station-I went straight from my previous posting to this one, and I only got one official day of R&R," she sighed. "What are your suggestions, Doctor?" She slid down in the bed, so she was snuggled close to him. She had missed the calming presence of a male body, but she also liked her independence.

"I can certainly give you something to help you sleep, and maybe should try it short term so your body can rest. But it's just a bandaid really," Malcolm said as he hugged her close. "Do you ever talked with others from the resistance? Maybe even people who you went through some of the worst times with?"

She nodded. "I still keep in touch with some people, yes," she said. "It's a little hard because I was one of the people who thought that aligning with the Federation was a good idea-to avoid future issues with the Cardassians-or ANYONE, really. Some of my contemporaries-you may know some-thought the opposite. At any rate, ALL of us were for a free Bajor. And you're right, talking to them helps. It HAS been awhile, I should call my friends. And probably my mom," she said. "And a sleeping aid would be nice. It's been about...three years since I was able to sleep a full night, and that was only because I was sick," she said. "I picked up some kind of food poisoning on a Shore Leave excursion," she said, laughing. It was kind of embarrassing at the time, for no other reason than that vomiting in the middle of the Promenade at Outpost Solare was terrible.

Malcolm continued to hold her gently. "I can't pretend to have lived through anything like that, but a lot of people say that the best therapy is talking with people who have experienced the same kind of trauma. Soldiers who have gone to war together suffer most when they around people who don't get it. It's hard to put into words for someone who has never experienced it," Malcolm said in a way that he hoped was helpful. "Do you want me to run and get my medical kit to give you something tonight? I'd be happy to do that for you, but don't do it on my account."

Vila sighed. "Yes, that's it," she said. "Very few people fully understand," she said. "Remy is great; we've known each other for years. But still...she can't know, and I would never burden her with it fully," she said. "She's seen her own stuff, anyway," she said. "Would you mind? That's actually a good idea. Let's see if it'll work," she said.

"Of course," Malcolm responded. He gave her a quick, yet sensual kiss on the lips. "I'll be right back, it's just in my quarters." Malcolm didn't have the heart to remind her that she was wearing his shirt. He liked seeing her in it anyway. He put on his jacket and zipped it up for the brief walk to his quarters.

Vila nodded, and kissed him back before he slipped out of bed. She watched him go. What was she DOING?! Getting too close too fast.

While he was home, Malcolm put on another shirt, he'd let her keep the one she was wearing if she wanted, and grabbed his medical kit and hurried back. He didn't want to assume anything, so he found himself activating the door chime rather than letting himself in.

Vila laughed when she heard the chime-she hadn't left the bed, but she HAD put her underwear back on. "Computer, let him in," she said, with a sigh. "You can come in on your own, you know," she said. "I was expecting you, after all." She smiled when he appeared.. "Oh! I am still wearing your shirt, aren't I?" She looked down. Indeed, she was. She vaguely remembered putting it on, but had still been lightheaded from their relations. "Will it...hurt?" She asked. She was a bit weary of things like this, her trauma notwithstanding, she didn't ENJOY shots.

"It's okay, it looks better on you anyway," Beckett quipped. "Shouldn't hurt a bit. Just a little pressure on your arm. I thought we might try something that's just meant to relax your mind - stop the racing thoughts. See if that helps. If it doesn't we can try something with more of a sedative in it. What do you think?" He asked before taking anything out his bag.

She nodded. "I bet it does," she smirked. "Ok. That sounds like a plan. At this point, I'd listen to paint drying if it meant it'd help me," she said. She sat up, preparing her arm for him. "I don't know if a sedative is a good idea overall-I AM the XO and I should be ready at a moment's notice, but we'll see," she said. "I know Remy would understand, but..." she trailed off. She wasn't looking forward to the day she'd have to spill the beans that she was sleeping with a junior officer. She wasn't planning to tell her anytime soon, but she knew she'd HAVE to some day if it got any more serious than this. She hoped it would.

Malcolm prepared a hypospray and walked over to Vila and looked at her warmly in the eyes. "Just a wee bit of pressure is all," he said as he pressed the hypospray to her bicep. "Shouldn't knock you out, but might help your mind settle. Want to get back into bed and talk about something fanciful and see if feel like you can fall asleep?"

She nodded. "Yes, please. Maybe a couple more of those kisses, too," she said, giggling a little. "Thank you," she said, seriously. "I appreciate that you care enough," she said.

Malcolm wrapped his arms around Vila's waist. "I can certainly comply with that request," he said leaning his head down until his lips met hers in a slow and passionate kiss. One hand wandered up to the nape of her neck, her soft hair intertwined with his fingers as he pulled her in closer.

Vila giggled a little, but let herself be kissed, moving into him slightly to get closer. "Mmmm," she moaned lightly. It was nice to kiss someone again.

"I wish I had a magic wand and could take the pain away from you," he whispered, brushing the hair away from her face.

Vila smiled. "While that would be nice, I fear that the pain has made me who I am. I am strong because of it. I have had to learn to overcome and adapt and interact with others. It made me have to work on myself, and that's never a bad thing," she said. "But thank you," she said. She rested her head on his chest. "I'll report back in the morning," she said, relaxing into him.

"Mmm, yes, let's check-in in the morning," Malcom responded as he led her back to the bed. It was more of a dance really, as he didn't let go as he stepped her toward her side of the bed and dipped her down onto the mattress, before walking around and climbing in on his side. Huh, he thought to himself. He just thought of it as his side.

She laughed as he led her back to the bed, and put her in it, then crossed to the other side. "Sounds good," she said, sleepily. She closed her eyes, fully expecting nothing to happen.

Malcolm cuddled up behind her, in a position long known as spooning . Just resting lightly behind her, but closely enough that he could feel her touch. He slowly looped his arm over her waist as he nestled his head into a pillow and listened carefully for her breathing to slow - a sign that she was getting some sleep.

Her breath did even out, and she let her eyes close. She didn't sleep yet, but it was nice to have her brain quiet down a little. She relaxed into the bed-a first for her, as she was usually always tense, a side effect of the PTSD, and whispered sleepily. "Thank you, Malcolm," she said. "Good night."

"Anything for you," he whispered back, still near, but giving her space to relax and breathe. "Sweet dreams." My love, he almost said, but he knew it was too soon for that.

They drifted off. Vila's sleep was still fitful, but not as bad as it had been in the past year. She needed to check in with a Counselor again. Also...she was ignoring the voice in her head that was screaming at her to open up to Malcolm and not arms-length him...even though it felt WAYYY too soon, she was strangely already attracted to him, and liked him...there could be something there. Finally, she let the memories of an early Bajor in all its resplendence take her away.

Malcolm had kept an eye on Vila for a while, noticing the fitful rest. It wasn't difficult for him. He was conditioned from working long overnight hours in sickbays and hospitals. When she finally seemed to relax he smiled and settled himself back down and let himself fall asleep as well. He found himself sleeping more lightly than normal, listening for Vila to stir.

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